Tales of the Galactically Stupid – Vendor Fail

Thank you for playing “Should we or should we not listen to the advice of the galactically stupid!” – A Few Good Men

So, I’m having this dream where I’m in a Seinfeld episode and the following conversation takes place.

Jerry: [discussing the possibility of Elaine moving into Jerry’s building] You have no idea what an idiot I am. Elaine just gave me a chance to get out and I didn’t take it.

Jerry: [Points to himself] This is an idiot.

George Costanza: Is that right? I just threw away a lifetime of guilt-free sex and floor seats for every sporting event in Madison Square Garden. So please, a little respect. For I am Costanza, Lord of the Idiots.

Darkbrew: OMFG! I just vendored Deathbringer’s Will and I cant’ get it back!

George Costanza: But suddenly, a new contender has emerged…

And then I wake up and realize that it’s not a dream. I have vendored Deathbringer’s Will, and I am indeed Lord of the Idiots.

So how exactly does something like this happen? I’m not a theory crafter, although I sometimes pretend to be one. Usually when I do things end badly. I’m kind of like a red belt in Karate. I have all the strength and power of a black belt, but none of the control.

It was early morning and in my pre-coffee state I decided I would do some testing on the Herkuml War Token. There had been some debate floating around the hunter blogs as to just how good or bad this trinket was for hunters. Based on this experience I can safely say that it’s just pure evil and cursed, and I shall never go near one again. Ever. Your results may vary of course.

I purchased the trinket, opened my bags, right-clicked to equip and off I went to spend some time with the training dummies, or as I like to call it, family reunion time.

Just as I was wrapping things up, a guildmate of mine asked if I wanted to do a random, and I said yes. I hearthed back to Dalaran, and made my way to Frost vendor to hand in my trinket and reclaim my badges. I had about an hour left on the refund timer.

My guildmate happend to be a tank, which meant insta-queue for our random. I’m standing at the vendor, the enter dungeon box is up, the vendor window is open, and so is my character sheet. Trying to beat the dungeon timer I drag the trinket to my inventory, right-click to sell it back, and then right-click on DBW to equip it, and then click enter dungeon.

In case you didn’t know if you have a vendor window open and your character sheet open and right-click on an item, the vendor window wins, and win it did. Now thankfully we have the buyback option from vendors. Unfortunately I didn’t realize I had sold the trinket until after the run, and by that time the buyback option was no longer available.

I was mortified. As far as gear goes this is about as good as it gets for hunters, and once I realized it was missing I entered into the five stages of grief.

Denial – First I kept checking my inventory, character sheet and bank in hopes that I could find it there. I logged on and off several times too. Then I checked every vendor in Dalaran hoping that by some miracle of bad code one of them would sell it back to me. Alas, it was gone.

Anger – How could I be so stupid? Did I really need to test drive the Herkuml War Token? So what if other hunters are going to use it; I’m not. How could I be so stupid? Honey, I think you might want to hide the cats.

Bargaining – As I began filling out my GM ticket I started writing things like, If you just give me this one item back, I promise never to do it again. I’ll take out the trash the night before. I’ll start exercising and eating healthier. I wont stand in anymore void zones. I’ll target the blood beasts and other adds. I’ll turn off aspect of the pack and turn on Trueshot Aura. I’ll put a speed enchant on my boots. I’ll flask and eat dragonfin instead of fish feast. The list was endless.

Depression – I just vendored the most awesome trinket ever. To be honest, I think this was probably the first stage I entered.

Acceptance – I have more DKP than anyone else in my guild who needs this trinket. Sorry dude, but you’re going to have to wait a little longer because I’m getting the next one that drops.

As it turns out this kind of stuff is rather routine for the GMs. Other than having to wait several hours for a response, the item was returned with a kind note signed – Happy Hunting 😉. Me and my precious were happily reunited.

This is the kind of things the people write poems about. And one such person did.

Darkbrew’s Folly by Arthemystia

The sun does not shine, though it was once mine
Before I sold Deathbringer’s Will
The streets all seem grey, I lost to a mage in the raid
Because I sold Deathbringer’s Will
The pain, it is wracking, Euripides is cackling
Because I sold Deathbringer’s Will
I had come so far again, I’d be pushing Kripparrian
But alas, I sold Deathbringer’s Will
I should give up, they say, re-roll a DK
Now that I’ve sold Deathbringer’s Will
But cry not for me, it was my own stupidity
That made me sell Deathbringer’s Will

Ah, poetry. Oh and as I’m writing this, I currently have a GM ticket open on my alt. hunter who inadvertently vendored a Njordnar Bone Bow when he meant to vendor a Felglacier Ice Bolter.

All hail the Lord of the Idiots!

4 comments

  1. It dropped last night …first time ever….and I rolled a F#@king 2 …a 2 !!!! the guy who got it was the other senior hunter in the guild and he will probably get better use out of it than me….he has better gear…is admittedly more skilled than me and will now have have an armor pen rating of a gagillion and will do insane DPS…..but come on a frickin' 2 🙁

  2. Hearing about this on the Podcast just didn't quite cut it. But THIS, oh, laughing out loud in a room full of my oilfield co-workers. Seriously… got a few strange looks.

    Thanks for the lesson Darkbrew, when I finally get my DW, which has still never dropped for me I'll never right click it… Ever.

  3. It just occurred to me that I have now contributed material to all 3 blogs of the HP Podcast. My shadowy influence over the hunter world continues to grow…

    …and anyway, glad to help out with the poem. I wanted to break out of the "Frost has hairy arms" poetry rut many were in that submitted poems to me, and this was just the sort of naturally-hilarious material I needed. I'm glad it was returned, though. It would've turned a comedy into a tragedy.

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